How Do You Build a Cause-Centric Kid?

The company that I lead, Envision, helps students in grades 4-12 discover their career and life aspirations through innovative, hands-on experiential learning programs. I'm lucky to be part of an organization with such a great mission, but the added bonus for me personally is that I have three kids with burgeoning life aspirations of their own, including a sixth grader. So while I work with my team to understand the career exploration and leadership needs of the thousands of students we serve every year, I can simultaneously reflect on my daughter's journey towards (now seemingly and misleadingly distant) adulthood and what her needs are. Some might say she is my "focus group of one."

One of the things I have been thinking about a lot recently is how to empower my daughter as she becomes more socially aware. To be clear, she's eleven, so I am not expecting an overnight transformation into Mother Teresa, Rachel Carson, or the Dalai Lama. However, I do want her to understand the big societal issues facing us, and to not only instill in her a sense of cause, but a sense that she's part of a society that is larger than her, her sisters, her classmates, and the entire Netflix line-up of Disney Channel shows. I don't have a lot of answers on how to do this, but I will share some of the questions that I wrestle with.

Question 1: How do we balance honest dialog about social issues with risk of creating fear or anxiety?

This is a tough one. As a kid growing up in the Eighties I distinctly remember a casual conversation with my mom about the Cold War and nuclear weapons that caused me six months of sleepless nights as I worried about my imminent atomic destruction. Today's issues aren’t really less scary—mass shootings, terrorism, and climate change are all real problems requiring real solutions that are worthy of discussion—and still have the ability to instill anxiety in the mind of a fearful pre-teen.

I typically try to rely on the dual strategy of avoiding topics I think my kids are not ready for while trying to be as honest and open as I can be about issues I think they can handle. Sometimes circumstances cause me to deviate from this. For example, I remember my daughter knowing "something was up" on the 10th anniversary of 9/11. I thought she was too young, at age 6, to hear about what happened that day, but I ended up talking to her about 9/11 to avoid her hearing about it from friends at school. The balance here is a challenge: I want to protect her, but I think it is as important for her to hear about sensitive topics from me and my wife rather than on the playground. The truth is, kids are talking about issues more than we think. Ask your child about the current candidates in the presidential election—they may have much more to say than you imagine.

Question 2: How much of my "personal spin" should I include in discussions on social issues with my daughter?

We all have our political leanings, pet causes, and key issues that we as adults feel passionate about. But how much "editorializing" should we do when talking to our kids about social or current event issues? I think we all like to believe that we can calmly and rationally explain all sides of an argument to our kids and then trust their little minds to form their own opinion. But while that might be hard for them, I think it's actually harder for us adults to let go and to let multiple viewpoints be heard.

To give a sports example, I am a Philadelphia Eagles fan and told my kids early on that if they rooted for the Giants or Cowboys I would tie them to the roof of our car and drive them around town as they sang the Eagles fight song. (They were at least 60% sure I was joking.) In this case, it’s safe to say that I did not create a “safe space” for divergent allegiances! On the social/political front, I try to not introduce my own bias into discussions on the social/political front (but am not always successful). On these types of issues—many of which are being brought to the forefront in this ever-so-interesting presidential campaign—I think the goal here is to try for balance, doing our best to present two sides to every story to our kids, but then taking the time to explain what one believes and why.

Question 3: How can I help connect my daughter with a cause she's passionate about?

I would love to see my daughter begin to develop a social consciousness and get involved in a cause she's passionate about. That could be advocating to get the snack machine prices at school reduced by 50% or protesting the volume of homework for 6th grade students. At this point, I don't care about the specific topic, but I think it's important for my daughter to understand that she is part of a community larger than herself, and that she has a voice that can make an impact in that community. A great opportunity for kids to exercise their voice at this particular time is to volunteer in the community or even for a political campaign and to canvass door to door with an adult. This is something I am aiming to find time to do in the coming weeks.

At Envision, one of the things we are doing to promote the development of a "cause-centric" approach with students is the creation of what we call "Delegations for Change," empowering middle school and high school students at our 2017 Presidential Inauguration Leadership Summit in Washington DC. At this event, 3,000 students will come together to be part of the inauguration on the national mall, and to be inspired by a lineup of amazing speakers like Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai, soccer star Abby Wambach, and former Secretary of State Colin Powell. Students will also form into "Delegations" of five to seven students and work together to find and recommend a solution for a problem or challenge that they are passionate about, with winners being selected in a "shark tank" style competition. The idea here is to use the power of collaborative and team-based learning to enable students to be inspired and energized by their peers. Our goal is to have all 3,000 students leave the summit motivated, cause-driven, and ready to take the power of change home with them.

(To learn more about the Summit and even become a part of a Delegation for Change by attending, visit http://www.envisionsummit.com.) 

As a final thought, studies show that millennials and the next generation of the work force are making career and life choices based on causes. Young 20-somethings in the workforce are typically more mission-driven than generations that came before them. But I don't think they magically transformed into these socially conscious beings; I think they had parents who were deliberate in the fostering of these attitudes. So, as I continue on my journey as a parent, I will no doubt keep wrestling with some of the above questions towards the goal of building a cause-centric kid. If you're a parent and you're reading this I know you are likely wrestling with similar questions of your own. We'd love to hear from all of you about what you are doing that works with your amazing next generation leader—send us a note at feedback@envisionexperience.com and let us know what you think.

Carpe Futurum! (Seize the Future)

-Written By

Duncan Young
Chief Executive Officer
Envision Experience